BLOG ENTRY: by DG Wilson Feb 6, 2009
H.E.E.D.
Human Evoulution Eventual Dream
By DG Wilson © Feb. 2009
Page 1
Charlie hated this guy. It was a deep seeded repulsion to his very presence; and if she could not actually see him, then his smell made her gag. Charlie wanted to be there like she wanted a Monster Truck to slowly drive over her legs.
But he kept going. In fact, he never shut up!
Mark bleated his vulgar views on women despite Charlie's thousands of attempts to set him straight. He said, "She is just a Bitch, that's all. You can't do anything about the whore. I mean if she wants my kids then she will have to take them out of my dead, cold hand. That's all. I would shoot the bitch in the FACE if she ever tried, but you would know that...right? Hey? You listening? This is important if you don't want to be a first class bitch when you get down on your knees for your man. That is, if you ever want one...you dyke!"
Charlie stared out the passenger side of the cruiser window. It was a prison sentence of torture to drive around all day with this prick. She hated her partner with such a passion her stomach lurched and the acid nibbled at the ulcers. Charlie tasted blood.
She thought about fairness and realized she was not being totally fair. MOST of the cops on the NYPD were real shits. There were a very few that tried hard to coexist but the majority made it damned difficult.
Her father had been a cop. He had died when she was little so she never completely understood how the police really acted. Charlie thought back to her fathers' friends when they used to come over t their little home after their shift on the streets AND the shift at the bar. Sometimes they would come to their house to continue drinking. She remembered she hated it when they were drunk. But she loved her father. It was a double edged sword. Charlie wanted to have her dad home because she knew that he was safe. But when he was he was drunk with his friends. So Charlie was always pushed to the side of her dads' life.
Charlie had tried her best to get her fathers' love, but always failed. She didn't know why he hated her, maybe it was because she was a girl. Daddy had always wanted a boy to fill his cuffs...she had tried to fill them and was certain it had been a mistake.
The other officers that despised the people they protected, like her partner Mark here, only made her job worse. The public feared the police these days. Back when she was a child, Charlie remembered how the kids loved the cops. But then things changed. Charlie had hindsight now as a mature woman. She realized the cold truth. People started to fear the police and it just might have started with her fathers' friends. But Charlie also realized that these types of men that apply for the job might have always been on the force.
One of her fathers friends had actually cheated on his wife of 15 years with a friend of Charlie's. Really her best friend, Heidi was the same age as Charlie. In the squad car they drove around trying to avoid a call. Charlie had plenty of time to remember all the gory details for the millionth time.
It was during their 18th year as seniors in high school. Heidi had told her that she fell in love but wouldn't tell Charlie who it was or where he went to school. Charlie had finally learned it was a cop and almost as old as her own father! To make things much worse, Charlie realized it WAS one of her Dads' friends. He got her pregnant. Charlie had really tried to help Heidi, but she was too young to understand that this was not good for her. She was in love.
Charlie had discovered that the cop was cheating on Heidi too. She had overheard his bragging to the other officers one night as they drank in their parked car outside of her house. they had parties all the time because it was a dead end block that was really quiet. Charlie also believed that they drank and partied near her house to honor her father.
Heidi's boyfriend howled, "I do it all the time with drunk women that I stop on the streets!" The other cops all howled and said, of course, they did it too!
"They will do just about anything to stay out of jail!" He had actually shouted!
When Heidi was told, she broke up with the cop. But he didn't like that, not one bit. It was ok for him to reject all women, treat them like trash and plumbing, but when she stood up for herself and her baby...he exploded.
Charlie had actually found them.
She went to Heidi's house to get her for school. It was their last year of High School and they usually walked to the subway together. They had walked together for years. Heidi's parents were away that weekend and would have returned later on the next day if they hadn't been called.
Charlie had let herself into Heidi's apartment, she had a key and called out. It was very quiet. It had been so quiet that Charlie wondered if she had missed Heidi altogether. Then she saw the blood.
The cop had shot her in the belly, and in the face. Then the coward shot himself in the head with his service revolver. Heidi was slumped over his body, lay on him like they were in bed but on the kitchen floor.
It would take an hour to get Charlie to stop screaming.
So why did she go on the force? Why did she open up herself to this hell? Charlie knew it was to make her father proud of her. Hell, to even NOTICE her. Another reason was to try to stop that from happening again. If she could only help a cop, as an equal, to see the damage caused by their behavior then she might save other families from the pain they felt when Heidi's awful story came to light.
That one act of selfishness, the murder of an innocent pregnant girl had tore through Charlie's family, Heidi's family and the cops' family. Even the other officers felt the scandal and were burned. If she could stop that from happening even one time more...
But Charlie realized she had been so very naive. Oh sure she was smart enough to know how to get around the board's questions about her views on cops, even the "heart to heart" one of her fathers' best friends gave her as a test. They all wanted to know where her loyalties lay. Did she want revenge on the force or did she want to fill her dads' shoes? Charlie had convinced them that she was there for the public and dad.
They let her into the Academy. She graduated with honors at the top of her class.
Charlie remembered her initial excitement when she went on the streets for the first time as a Rookie. She was going to make a difference she thought. She was going to help the world and change the bad. Charlie and the rest of her brothers were going to stop crime, arrest the evil and bring justice, even peace to the city. They were going to make peace even if the bad guys fought like hell.
Since Charlie learned the bite of reality runs deep. The criminals were people. People that were not given a chance to make a good life. Most from birth were set up for the system. They only acted within their options. Most criminals don't want to do bad, if they had a good chance to do good they would. Others were sick, mentally tortured when children, shown the wrong influences, or just bad blood that wanted to spill innocent peoples'. They needed help not beatings. Charlie HAD felt that if there were real opportunities for the poor to get rich, the world would be a different place. Why rob someone if you had all the money you wanted?
Years ago Charlie tried to help the cops understand her belief. She would try to convince her partners that they actually created a great deal of the problem.
"The poor just wanted to feed themselves and their families." Charlie had told one partner. "To do that they have to turn to illegal means because they don't have a decent education. The city does not allow them to smarten up. Poor education means poor jobs. Without money they can't buy what they need. If the cops attack them terrorize them even then they are traumatized and can't find decent work even if they wanted to! Further, they pass their hate of cops onto their kids. That keeps them all down and abused. If people would work together then the poor might not be a problem but a benefit to the country! Imagine if every one had the ability to own their own business, wrote books, made their own music! The country would be a much better, more productive place!" The cops she said this to did not like it. They would have them reassigned.
Finally Charlie figured out why she got so many different partners in her first year. Each tried to crack her legs open. They didn't want to have her as a partner, they didn't care to hear what she felt, didn't even want to listen to what she had to say...they ONLY wanted to sleep with her!
Eventually they understood that she was not going to screw them so there was nothing to talk about anymore. Charlie couldn't find a partner that would drive with her because they all felt she was a liability to their way of life on the force. She was left alone on the streets to die by the criminals she wanted to help.
There were a few times when she was set up by them to be killed. Calls that she was sent to answer and when she called for immediate backup the did not come. So Charlie had given up on trying to help the world. She couldn't make them understand that they were the sharp point of the stick in the eye of the public. Charlie could not break through their blue wall.
Charlie still held her belief: that the circle of crime was complete when the poor, uneducated or minorities met the cops. The poor have to earn enough money to live, their jobs don't cut it so they have to do something else on the side. When they are caught by the cops...Charlie's own coworkers abuse and terrorize them even more than society had. In fact, she realized, the fact that they were arrested for Felonies also limits their options. Even if they did straighten out and go to work they won't find it because they won't be hired! They have a Felony arrest! What company wants to take that kind of chance?
Now, ten years later, half way into her sentence Charlie knew that she had made a terrible mistake. Her new partner was sent by the Captain to educate HER! Mark constantly spouted the Blue Code to her so that it might sink in. They would have given up on her completely maybe even shot her themselves if they had not admired her father so much.
So Charlie was stuck. There was no way to help the people. She was a small minority trying to fix a major problem. The cops were hired because of their attitude towards the poor. The public was destined to run into the bad cops. When they did they were traumatized for fun by the system. This made everything worse. Abuse of the weak was in the DNA of the police. So Charlie spent her hours on the job trying to ignore Mark as they slowly whittled down each shift. She counted one more day down, she was one more closer to her 20 years until she could retire. Only ten more.... Her thoughts cleared as she listened to the call that would change her life.
The radio sputtered into life as soon as they turned the car on and never stopped. Cops listened with half an ear for their call number otherwise they tuned it out. But this call she listened to with complete attention. She didn't know why because it was a homicide. The dispatch said, "Man found dead in the middle of a hallway in his building. Brooklyn adress..." Charlie needed to go. She didn't know why but that call made her hair stand up on end, gave her chills and pumped her full of adrenaline.
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